May 14, 2013
Yes, This Really Happened

There is a company here in town that I always wanted to work for. I used to consider them my dream employer since they are in an industry that I adore. I interviewed with them in 2003 and it went well.  The gal I interviewed with said she’d be in touch in a couple of days.  When I didn’t hear, I attempted to follow up (something I don’t normally do, but I was desperate).  But wouldn’t ya know?  The gal I interviewed with and the HR contact both left the company.  What are the odds? And I guess that means the job opening vanished?  Who knows.  I never get answers when interviewing. 

In 2008, I got another interview with this company.  This one was only a phone interview.  And of course, I was once again desperate.  The position was for a supply chain analyst.  In addition to an MBA, I have a degree in supply chain management.  I’ve been a supply chain analyst.  I’ve been a supply chain manager.  And at the time, I had 10 years of experience in the field of supply chain management.  I wasn’t exactly applying to man the space shuttle.  This was right in my sweet spot. 

The gentleman I spoke with was oddly nasty with me.  It was really strange.  He kept saying things like “I don’t even know why I’m talking to you. You’re not at all qualified for this job.”  Had I not been desperate for a new position, I would never have tolerated that from a potential employer.  I’d have politely said “It sounds like you and I aren’t quite a good match.  You take care and good luck in your search.”  HOWEVER, I was desperate.  So I sat there and took it.  He was a colossal dick, and I responded kindly.  I have never felt so dirty. 

For the next couple of days I thought maybe it was a recruiting tactic.  Maybe they are trying to see how potential employees respond to being shit upon. But as someone who at the time was teaching business at a local community college, I realized there is no such tactic.  Recruiters don’t do that.  And if that’s how that company recruits, why would anyone want to work there? 

I did get a call back a few days later from the cranky asshole to tell me I didn’t get the job.  He said “I figured you took the time to send a resume, so I might as well call you back even though you’re not qualified.”  This guy sure burned some calories letting me know he wasn’t going to hire me.  I wish I remembered his name.  I do remember the company though.  They have a giant retail presence and haven’t seen a dime of my money since that day. 

Do you have a strange/funny/depressing interview story?

10:35pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXaFJxl0AG6C
(View comments) 
May 6, 2013
Now I don’t have to write about awful managers!

I’ve always wanted to write a blog about what it means to be a good manager.  Thankfully, I don’t have to because I found this site that I now love:

http://www.askamanager.org/about

In the “About Me” section, she lists some excellent bullet points that every manager should read.  Every job I’ve been at since 2007 has not provided what I’d call a sufficient amount of training.  At most places, it’s non-existent.  So my desire for the Fortune 500 to train managers how to manage is but a dream when they’re not even training employees how to do their jobs. 

I’ve had 17 managers.  Five of them were great.  Three of them were horrid.  The rest fell in the middle somewhere.  Like the author of the Ask a Manager blog, I never had a mentor.  I, like her, had a bunch of anti-mentors.  I still see horrible managers at my current job.  Instead of hoping for them to get better, I envy them.  How did they get promoted when they’re so awful?  When I come in contact with people in VP or director level positions and realize they don’t have a clue about how things are done, I just want to pull them aside and quietly ask “Who exactly did you blow?”

9:21pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXaFJxkPTZmE
(View comments) 
April 23, 2013
Never Satisfied

The last time I wrote here, I was talking about seeing an opening for my dream job.  I didn’t get it, and I wasn’t shocked.  I didn’t get a call, an interview, or a form letter thanking me for my resume. And I wasn’t shocked.  Yes, I was sad.  I’d like to get in touch with someone who could tell me why this organization that used to employ me won’t acknowledge my attempts to reach out, but I know no HR department in the world would disclose that info.  It’s a dream I’ll have to put to rest, and that sucks. 

What doesn’t suck is my current job.  It isn’t so bad.  I always said I’d settle for a job that didn’t make me miserable.  I’m glad to say my job doesn’t.  I’ve been there a year now, and it went by pretty quickly. 

People do come across my ramblings here and get angry when they learn I have a job. Why people express anger to Internet strangers when they can just click the back button is beyond me.  But if you’re new here, allow me to sum up: I haven’t been unemployed since 2009.  This blog started as a place to tell the story of me being an unemployed MBA, thinking I’d always have a job opportunity since I’d be willing to work anywhere, and learning that was far from the case when I couldn’t get a job at the mall.  I had to re-enter the workforce at entry-level, and it wasn’t until 2011 that I finally got a job that matched my experience.  Being unemployed for so long felt like the most traumatic thing I’d ever had to deal with, but I can look back now and see it as just a blip on my career’s radar screen. 

Here’s the kicker: I have a job that doesn’t make me miserable, and I’ve always thought that would be enough.  But now I have this grand idea that I should have a job I enjoy.  Don’t worry; that thought comes and goes.  I sometimes see cockeyed-optimists post lovely sayings on various forms of social media like “If you don’t love your job, you’re doing it wrong!”  Oh, twentysomethings.  Nobody really loves cubicle sitting.  And I don’t know any people who have been successfully able to monetize the hobbies they do for fun.  I’m sure they exist.  Ok, no I’m not sure they exist.  I know people who’ve turned hobbies into extra income but not a salary and benefits. 

Did they ever replace Andy Rooney?  Because I’d like to apply.

9:59pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXaFJxjPGhIB
(View comments) 
November 1, 2012
A Tweet but no Peep

This past summer, I saw my dream job posted online.  It was required that I apply through their online system.  I did so, and then I printed out all the online application materials, included a current resume and curriculum vitae, and sent it certified mail to the department head/hiring manager along with a cover letter.

And I didn’t hear a peep back.

I wasn’t sad.  I somehow knew that despite all my efforts, I wouldn’t so much as get a “thanks but no thanks” form letter. But there are two interesting things about this situation:

1) I’ve worked for them before.  I worked for them on a contract basis for three years.  They stopped renewing my contract in 2008 and gave no reason why. I asked as tactfully as possible why that was, and I was told they no longer have enough work to go around.  During that same period, the local paper reported a record amount of “work” at this employer.  To sum up, they didn’t give me an honest answer. I try at least twice a year to get my foot back in the door, so I don’t really get very sad when I don’t hear a peep; I’m used to it.  The former hiring manager I dealt with won’t even accept my invitation to connect on LinkedIn.  That one is weird.  I accept everyone on LinkedIn!  Who says no to a chance to network?

2) They follow The Unemployed MBA on Twitter.  How many people can say their dream employer follows them on Twitter?  I know, some might think I said something off-putting (which I do!) and that’s why I don’t get hired.  But they’ve only recently started following me.  Besides, “Unemployed MBA” isn’t my real name.

This week they sent out a tweet saying they’re hiring yet again. 

So I’m back to trying to get my foot in the door at a place that may very well have black-balled me yet follows my Twitter account that’s full of corporate and political sarcasm and was once retweeted by Larry Fitzgerald.

In an attempt to have a great story about how social media got me a job, I tweeted stating that they are my dream employer, and I’ll be applying again.  They responded with encouraging words.  So come along for the ride! What follows will either be a great example of social media as a networking tool, or another in a long line of rejections.

Can you guess which one I think is likely?

9:44pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXaFJxWQK2LO
(View comments) 
Filed under: unemployed mba 
October 22, 2012
BOO! We Should be Scared

Those of us in our mid-to-late 30s are the most uneasy about retirement.  And we should be. We are a generation of student-loan-having, giant-mortgage-paying, not-enough-savings growing worker bees.  Meaning most people have no plan to get themselves retired.  So we work, we work, and we work some more.  And we throw money after debt instead of towards a kid’s college fund so that Junior can do the same one day.  It’s a cycle of debt.

I think my new dream job would be to find students just getting into college, explaining how much money it will cost them, and how long it will take to dig out of that debt.  And then send point them to MCCCD.

http://www.azcentral.com/business/consumer/articles/20121022retirement-worries-grow-somethings-most-uneasy.html

9:18pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXaFJxVogT_p
(View comments) 
Filed under: student loan debt unemployed mba 
October 9, 2012
Mmmm, diabetes!

Hey China.  Hope you are well.  So there’s this thing here in the US called adult-onset diabetes.  I think you’ll become familiar with it over the next few years.

Yum Brands, Inc. has seen a 23% increase in net income thanks to Chinese expansion.  I’m torn.  I can’t really blame them or any company for going after the almighty dollar.  But it’s like that scene in Mean Girls (which I totally never saw) where LiLo tries to fatten up Rachel McAdams. We may be in debt to you, China, but we’re so gonna laugh when your butt gets too big for your yoga pants.

http://www.azcentral.com/business/news/free/20121009yum-gains-from-rebounding-performance-china.html

9:21pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXaFJxU-33op
(View comments) 
Filed under: china yum brands the unemployed mba 
July 26, 2012
Baloney.

I call bull shit on this article.  I don’t know a soul who would turn his/her nose up at a large salary because there is a stigma that goes along with being a “factory worker”. 

Dear any person at a manufacturing company who reads this and makes hiring decisions: I will come work for you for $100,000.  Unless you are in NY, CA, or Chicago (make it $200k and I’m in). 

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/100-000-factory-job-whats-154000356.html

9:28pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXaFJxQAZAAx
(View comments) 
(Notes: 1)
  
Filed under: unemployed mba salaries manufacturing 
July 24, 2012
Puppies. Seriously, puppies!

Since I talk a lot of crap about the businesses I hate, it’s only fair to mention one that has pleased me.  I applaud you, Macerich.

http://www.azcentral.com/business/articles/20120806phoenix-malls-pet-adoption.html

9:55pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXaFJxQ1_dRG
(View comments) 
(Notes: 1)
  
Filed under: macerich puppies unemployed mba 
July 5, 2012
SAP: Proof That The Germans Hate Us

The job I just left in April used SAP. SAP is a super confusing ERP system that the Germans invented because they hate American manufacturing.  I can only assume that part is true based on what a joke of a system it is.  It is not user friendly, and is easily the worst ERP system I’ve ever used.  If you note that you’re an SAP user on your resume, you’ll probably get a few calls the next day.

My last job offered absolutely no SAP training. A gal who had just graduated from ASU three months prior showed me about three different transactions. If one played around in SAP for an entire work year, he/she would never figure it out without help.  It’s the opposite of any Microsoft application that most folks born after 1975 could figure out after a few hours.  I know that’s apples and oranges, but I’m trying to state that I bet it’s possible to create a user-friendly system.

I sat in my lone cubicle and was ignored for a solid three weeks. My “manager” was never around.  I’d go by his desk multiple times a day for help, and he was never there.  One day, I went by his desk 10 times before I gave up trying to find him.  Most companies introduce you to people and take you on a small tour when you start.  This company did none of that.  Anyone who could help me was too busy.  The place was a disaster, and I felt as if I was always in the dark about how to do my job.  After 10 months, they did some training on all of the metrics we had to report, but there was never one second of SAP training. When I bitched, my manager said “You have a friend on the planning team.  You could’ve gotten her to help train you.”  Yeah, she’d much rather stay late to train someone on another team than to go home and see her kids.

My current job hired me because I’d been using SAP for a year. That made me nervous.  I thought they’d be horribly disappointed in how little I knew.  Many companies hire people who already know SAP mostly because they don’t want to train you to use it.  But then something miraculous happened: My new employer sent me to an SAP class.  A class!  For five straight days! 

I learned more in the first 6 hours of that class than I learned in a year of being ignored at my last job.  That is no exaggeration.  The amount I learned in 6 hours would’ve have been crazy-valuable at my last job.  So I wonder this: Why couldn’t my last job give us at least half a day of SAP training?  We all had laptops, so it’s not like we needed a classroom.  Just a room and six hours of someone’s time.  Instead they did no SAP training, and we had a “leadership” team that was completely unavailable to us.  I can’t put into words how unavailable they were other than to say that it took me four hours to find a manager to give my letter of resignation to on the day I quit.

And this leads nicely into a post about how the various things I hate about companies have evolved over the years.

11:41pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXaFJxOnCqj5
(View comments) 
(Notes: 1)
  
Filed under: sap unemployed mba mba 
June 29, 2012
Gone The Way of The Dodo: Training

What ever happened to training?  Good ol’ on the job training?  I already know how to do my stupid job function, but there is a learning curve with every job.  If you’re flipping burgers, it may be a shorter curve than if you’re repairing jet engines, but you should never be left to just figure it out on your own.  I once had some secretaries complain that I wasn’t folding letters fast enough on my first day doing temp work at a law firm.  And though I still maintain one will be hard pressed to find a gal who can paper-craft faster than I, even that job has a learning curve.  And those chicks were cunts.

When I first left college and went to my first Fortune 500 company, they put all the newbies in a training class for 40 hours. This was back before laptops were the norm, so the company had a classroom with computers for each student.  After the 40 hours of training, I went to sit with someone in a more senior role to learn how to manage a desk.  At my 2nd job, I had a gal log in remotely and walk through how to navigate our ERP system for five strait days.  I didn’t think this was out of the ordinary.

Oh but it was.

Then there was Shitbox, Inc. They showed me how to enter a PO and not a thing more.  I was there a year and felt as if I never really knew how to do anything.  And there was no one to ask for help.  If anyone knew how to navigate the system well, they’d be able to show that people were fabricating things.  What do I mean? Big inhale:

I managed the inflow of supply.  I’d order parts.  They’d arrive, and I have proof from the good folks at UPS.  My PO would close upon receipt.  Someone would create a shipper to send the parts to a customer rather than to the floor for production. Production would stop, and they’d stand up in front of the management team and name me personally as the reason why. I’d explain that the parts were ordered and received on time, and someone created a shipper to send these to a customer and not to our production orders. I’d then say “If someone could show me in our ERP system all of the transactions that left the building that day, I’ll show you where these shipped out of turn.”  *crickets*  No one would show me because then I’d be able to prove that this was going on. A lot. So that was a whole lot of shit to read, but I’m basically saying it was best to keep folks in the dark so they’d be easier to blame.

But after I left that hole, the company moved to SAP.  And the beast that is SAP needs its own blog.

9:25pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXaFJxOOSIKM
(View comments) 
(Notes: 1)
  
Filed under: sap unemployed mba fortune 500 training on the job training 
Liked posts on Tumblr: More liked posts »